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The TWoTBlog — Home of the Twotties!

Ah, if TWoTBlog only had the money to pay for an orchestra. Majestic music in the backdrop is all that we need for this opening night special, but alas! I forgot to auction off my monkey Twotties (courtesy of Blender3D). Nevertheless, orchestra or no orchestra, the show must go on.

After much deliberation, the TWoTBlog one-man panel, in its infinite (Googlic*) wisdom, has decided upon the first awardee. And the Twottie goes to…Dannyman.ToldMe.com for the word “avuncular” (Runners-up: Kaliyuga Chronicles, Jeremy Freese’s Weblog). And now, for the first ever…

Twot It!: Avuncular

When Rob and I got our marriage annulled, I wanted to collect whatever incriminating evidence there was left in the home house. I had a grandiose plan of putting up a website where I could absolve myself of the guilt over the annulment – why, it was his fault! But the project kind of fell through, as he was able to stash away the evidence. All save for one, a letter given to him by his uncle:

“Let go of one little phrase you’ve always been fond of saying: Who’s your daddy? You can keep the spankings and other sado-machinist (why do you children love those robots and gadgets?) stuff between you and your wife, but get rid of that phrase. Rob, my sweet little boy, you should know better.

Are you Crisostomo Ibarra, bound to honor the name of his father, and only him? No, my pretty little boy. Why, it was your uncle who fed you, clothed you, and played with you!

Learn to be fair. Be generous to your uncle. Many people have been in the same shoes you’re finding yourself in now, but you mustn’t follow their suit. Don’t hide in the closet! Show yourself in the open – shout as you spank her, “Who’s your uncle?”! (To quote my friend, use something that indicates your substantive content.)

I miss you, Roberto dear. Be good to your wife and play! Play!

P.S. Avoid peanuts. I’ve read that peanuts bite harder than sharks.”

[244 words]

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